True love is a mutual gift shared between two people for their lifetime. Fortifying this love takes work but it is well worth it!

When engaged couples make plans to marry in the Catholic Church, they are asked to attend several different types of marriage preparation programs, and sometimes that even includes classes in Natural Family Planning (NFP). While it may not seem worthwhile at the time, this preparation is a worthy investment of time and money before entering into a lifelong promise.

Of course, all who plan to marry expect and desire joy-filled marriages. Few couples would be willing to spend tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding if they didn’t expect the marriage to last! So it is important to take seriously these programs that teach and help prepare you for marriage. In contrast, entering the religious life requires much more careful and deliberate “vocational preparation,” and the results speak for themselves. Far fewer priests and sisters jettison their religious vows than do married people. Many in the Church suggest that pre-marriage preparation ought to be much more vigorous, and the U.S. bishops have developed some initiatives to better catechize the faithful about the nature of marriage. Why is this?

Society’s Ideas of Marriage Not the Greatest

Because, believe it or not, young adults have already been on a steady marriage preparation diet since youth, and they are not always receiving healthy messages! This diet includes the experiences and influences of parents, siblings, friends, and general society. Young people have slowly and gradually absorbed attitudes and perceptions about marriage from these observations. They have observed the social and political wrangling with regard to marriage, including discussions about same sex unions, having children or not, contraception, divorce, cohabitation, and more. Marital attitudes develop from the positive or negative experiences around us. In addition, how well have young people absorbed the teachings about marriage from the Church?

If you are one of the many couples preparing for marriage at this time, just how ready are you? How well have you gotten to know each other during dating and courtship? Couples have to be able to see the mind and will of their beloved in order to love freely. Also, each person should be fully supportive and understanding of the other’s key attitudes, beliefs, and views with regard to spirituality, faith, morals, and life in general. Communication is the key to discovering these thoughts, beliefs, expectations, dreams, and hopes. Couples need to learn how to merge world views smoothly and appreciatively.

Pray, Share Together

Have you learned how to pray together and share insights about your faith with each other? This is so important. Couples also need to learn how to forgive and ask for forgiveness. Humility is a necessary “marriageability” trait. Humor and laughter are other necessary ingredients for maintaining love. And it’s good to have positive support systems (i.e., family, friends, church, community) in place that respect and value your principles.

Nobody really falls heads over heels into authentic love - rather it is a choice, and often only comes with hard work. Marriage is hard enough without today’s “socially constructed” challenges: contraception, same sex unions, divorce, cohabitation, and moral relativism. This is why the U.S. bishops focused on these challenges in their recent pastoral letter on marriage. Don’t let these distract you from loving authentically. Embrace the marriage preparation programs offered to you, which point the way to authentic love.

Let me close with the following keys to a happy marriage: these were stitched into a wedding quilt made by my good friend and maid of honor nearly 35 years ago! They are still pertinent today. Congratulations to those preparing for marriage and to those celebrating anniversaries this month. May God bless your new - and older - marriages as you strive to love each other more and more and more authentically through the years ahead.

Keys to a Happy Marriage

• 2 hearts full of love
• 2 cups of joy
• 2 heaping cups of kindness
• 2 big hearts full of forgiveness
• 2 armfuls of gentleness
• 2 cups of friendship
• 2 minds full of tenderness
• 1 lifetime of togetherness

Stir daily with happiness, humor, and patience. Serve with warmth and compassion, respect and loyalty.

Linda Kracht and her husband, Dave, are a Teaching Couple of the Couple to Couple League (CCL), and live in St. Paul, MN. Linda is the Chairman of CCL’s Board. The above article is from the January-February 2011 issue of “Family Foundations,” the publication of the Couple to Couple League International. CCL is the leading organization providing Natural Family Planning (NFP) instruction in the United States.

Natural Family Planning Classes Taught

Classes in Natural Family Planning sponsored by the Couple to Couple League (CCL) are taught in 17 locations in the Chicago metro area, including southeast Wisconsin and northwest Indiana. The next series of classes will begin Friday, Feb. 4, at Holy Family Hospital, 100 North River Road, Des Plaines IL, taught by Matthew and Anne McClure, 630-843-1066.

Classes will also begin Sunday, Feb. 6th, 2011, at 1:30 pm, at Resurrection Medical Center, 7435 West Talcott Avenue, Chicago IL, taught by Dave and Mona Cattapan, 847-437-3136.

To register, and for a list of classes throughout the U.S., go to the CCL Central registration (800) 745-8252.

The method taught is the Sympto-Thermal Method, which is also taught via CylePRO software. Sign up for a membership with the Couple to Couple League International at www.ccli.org, and receive “Family Foundations.”