The following is an abridged article by Margaret Berns, of Minnesota, from the November-December 2010 issue of “Family Foundations,” the publication of the Couple to Couple League International (CCL). CCL is the leading organization providing Natural Family Planning (NFP) instruction in the United States.

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Back in college I had it all planned out: find a decent (and handsome) guy, get married, have a dozen kids. That’s not such a tough bill to fill, is it? I even told my future husband this on our first date.

The fact that he stuck around for a second date was promising, very promising.

We soon figured out that we were meant to be, and after proposing to me one August evening, John asked my mom and dad for their blessing. I can still see my parents sitting there on the couch, my mom giggling like a schoolgirl and my dad responding (to my surprise and with the slightest of smirks), “Well, she’s a handful.”

He was right, of course. What woman isn’t? And who wants to marry a boring woman?

What my father meant - I think - was that I’d spent a long time figuring out God’s plan for my life. In the years prior to our engagement, I had traveled to Europe a half dozen times. I had lived in New York City as a nanny to Kurt Vonnegut, made dinner for Martha Stewart (pasta and clam sauce), and had taken 10 full years to complete my undergraduate degree (perhaps my most impressive accomplishment).

I had seen the pope, both in Rome and Denver, and I had been on pilgrimages to Lourdes, Sacre’ Coeur, and Manhattan, Kan. (That last one made perfect sense at the time, trust me.)

Having led a rich and varied single life, would I be happy as a stay-at-home mom? Would I be grateful for this brand new vocation? You bet I would, you bet I am.

But this is not to say it has been easy.

Letting go and letting Him

Our first year of marriage was the hardest by far, in part because of the selfishness that most single people bring to a new union, but also because we disagreed about when to have children. One of us wanted to wait until my husband had a job - he was in his third year of law school - and the other one wanted to start trying right away.

Consequently we practiced NFP for about a year, and then - after much prayer, discussion, and (yes, I admit) an argument or two - we decided to give it all to God.

Guess what? We conceived our first child the very next month…and all was well and good with our world.

We got into a groove at that point - a groovy groove, a happy schedule - whereupon we conceived a child approximately every two years. Well on my way to a dozen kids! I thought contentedly, but then out of the blue I miscarried a child.

Once…twice…four times I miscarried - four children in a row. This was not a part of the original plan, no ma’am, and I found myself tempted - tempted, mind you - to think that God had it out for me.

What had I done to be on the outs with God? The answer: nothing. Why was He suddenly sending me suffering? The answer: I don’t know, but I came to trust God’s will implicitly.

Eventually God sent us baby Anthony, and all was restored with my worldview. I’d really, really prayed for at least one more child. And you know what? I learned something valuable along the way.

God can bring good out of suffering.

I know this. I’m living a very good life.

An attitude of gratitude

I believe that life is a tremendous adventure. In my case, the longer I’m married, the clearer it becomes. It’s not necessarily how many children we have - Twelve? Six? Perhaps only two? - but rather, how best we love the ones we do.

In the end that’s all that matters.

Margaret Berns blogs at www.patentsgirl.blogspot.com.

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Natural Family Planning Classes Taught

Classes in Natural Family Planning are taught in 17 locations in the Chicago metro area, including southeast Wisconsin and northwest Indiana. The next series of classes will begin Sunday, Feb 6th, 2011, at 1:30 pm, at Resurrection Medical Center, 7435 West Talcott Avenue, Chicago IL, taught by Dave and Mona Cattapan, 847-437-3136.

To register, and for a list of classes throughout the U.S., go to the CCL Central class locator. (800) 745-8252. For information on the Chicago chapter of CCL, go to CCL of Chicago.

The method taught is the Sympto-Thermal Method, which is also taught via CylePRO software. Sign up for a membership with the Couple to Couple League International at www.ccli.org, and receive “Family Foundations.”