(Sept. 19, 2010) The following is a column by Ann Gundlach, from the July-August 2010 issue of “Family Foundations,” the publication of the Couple to Couple League International (CCL). Gundlach is the magazine’s editor. The issue was devoted to the dads involved in Natural Family Planning (NFP).

Greg offered full support for NFP.

In this issue, that turns the spotlight on NFP dads, I can’t pass up the opportunity to talk about the NFP dad in my own life - my husband, Greg. If your idea of the typical NFP guy involves him lovingly handing his wife the thermometer every morning and recording the temperature at night, Greg isn’t anywhere in that picture. But he has still played an indispensable role in our successful practice of NFP for 26 years.

Greg has worked in various positions for the same company since he graduated from college, but all of them had required a very early start to the workday. Most of those years (including now) have him out of the house by 3:00 a.m. Even during the times when he went in “later,” that meant around 5:00 a.m. As for weekends or vacations, Greg found it much easier to keep pretty much to the same schedule, so “sleeping in” still means he gets up before 6:00 a.m. I could probably count on just my two hands the number of times Greg has still been in our bedroom at the time I take my temperature. So I’m on my own for that as well as the other observations.

What about recording and interpreting? It turns out that I don’t see him all that much in the evenings, either. His early rise demands he be early-to-bed as well; ideally, that is by 7:00 p.m. At that time, I’ve still got hours to go in my day and am not ready for the day’s recording.

Given our schedules, it has always just worked best for me to handle the mechanics of the method on my own and to keep him posted on the status of my cycle. He certainly knows which drawer my chart is kept in and has been known to keep a pretty close eye on it himself at times, but we have become very comfortable with him having little-to-no involvement in the day-to-day aspects of the method.

And yet, with all the emphasis on the benefits of the shared responsibility of NFP, why do I not feel unfairly burdened? It’s because Greg has shown his support of our NFP use and breastfeeding in so many other ways. For example:

• He has never seriously complained or pressured me (at least that I can remember!) about having to deal with times of abstinence, even during those often-frustrating postpartum times.
• He has never asked that we switch to some other form of family planning.
• He was so supportive during the years I was breastfeeding! He gave me little breaks from the kids whenever he could. He gave me time for girls’ nights out when I needed them. He defended my long-term nursing to questioning relatives. He didn’t mind being the only couple among dozens with a nursing baby along when he earned a sales contest trip. And, he only occasionally complained about sharing our bed with a nursing baby, but that was only when it really was interfering with him getting enough sleep.

Some learner couples struggle with figuring out how to share the responsibility of NFP, often because they get the idea that it’s the husband’s “job” to manage the thermometer. That really is just a suggestion, albeit a good one that would work for many couples. But if you start from a place of respect and self-gift toward your spouse, every couple can learn to navigate the ins and outs of NFP in their own unique way, finding that comfortable place where it all works for them and they feel like a team - no matter who is managing the thermometer.

Natural Family Planning Classes Taught

Classes in Natural Family Planning are taught in 17 locations in the Chicago metro area, including southeast Wisconsin and northeast Indiana. The next series of classes will begin Friday, Oct. 1, 2010, at 7:30 p.m., at Holy Family Hospital, Des Plaines, taught by Lloyd & Monica Cassidy, 847-724-7206.

To register, and for a list of classes throughout the U.S., go to the CCL Central class locator. (800) 745-8252.

The method taught is the Sympto-Thermal Method, which is also taught via CylePRO software. Sign up for a membership with the Couple to Couple League International, and receive “Family Foundations.”